How Do You Say Goodbye, When You Can’t Say Goodbye?

Last September I accepted a position at a private high school in Beverly Hills, set to begin in the autumn of 2020. It was a surprisingly easy sell, despite my enduring New England roots.

Seldom do those of us nearing the end of our professional careers get wooed so fervently. The promise of days filled with sun and surf didn’t hurt either. But more than anything, I was excited to reimagine how my life might evolve on the opposite coast. Aging has only increased my thirst for adventure, not tamed it.

Shortly after announcing my impending departure to my current employer, the leaves on the apple tree outside my bedroom window began to drop. As if on cue, I too began unraveling the tapestry of my life. I stopped jotting down ideas for future work projects. I deleted emails touting nearby concerts and shows. I unburdened my closets of winter jackets — I thought I was ready for my break up with Boston.

But that was before the COVID-19 pandemic took hold.

Coming to terms with saying goodbye has never been one of my strong suits. In fact, if given the chance, I’d rather disappear into the night before enduring the awkward farewells most departures inspire. Leaving who and what I love is just awful and God help the person who forces me to talk about it.